Tim Foolery

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UAL 895 ORD-HKG (BusinessFirst)

Our flight to Hong Kong left early afternoon, so I was up early to pack and sit in on a couple of conference calls before we left for the airport.  I hate checking a bag, especially for such a short trip and moreso when we have to hit the ground running, so I packed my 21″ roller, leaving plenty of room to bring back my new tux.  We called for an UberX about 10h30 to take us to ORD where we planned on having a Bloody Mary (or two) then we’d stroll over to board the flight.

Late Wednesday morning in January is not a very busy time at ORD – we flew through Pre-Check and headed straight to my favorite United Club in Terminal 1 – near B14.  This is the second newest United Club at ORD and can be quite empty depending on when you are there (the lounge near B4 is always packed when I show up).  We head to the bar and order a couple Bloody Mary’s and talk a bit about what our goals are in Hong Kong — this is a common theme for me – planning the trip while en route to the destination.

United Club Bloodies

United Club Bloodies

Around 12h30 we headed off to the C concourse – arriving at the gate a few minutes before boarding began.  Like my other flights to China and various destinations in Asia, the line formed early, but people began pushing their way to the front.  The line wasn’t moving but other passengers had to get to the head of the queue.  One of my biggest frustrations with China.  We boarded though door 2L and turned left for the mini BusinessFirst cabin. This mini-cabin features 2 rows and 16 seats – while the main BusinessFirst cabin is a right turn from door 2L and contains 3 rows with 24 lay flat BusinessFirst seats.

Flight: United Airlines 895
Aircraft: Boeing 777-200
Seat: 7 A&B
Departure: 13h20 (13h22)
Arrival: 19h20 (19h01)

Shortly after we sat down, the folks across the aisle from us, arrived and started moving all the luggage around in the overhead bins — which frustrated me.  You don’t have to have your bags immediately over your head – and if you MUST, then you should board early.

We were served by a lovely middle aged stew who, even before we were settled in our seat, offered us our choice of beverage – of course, I opted for the sparkling wine.  She called in champagne – not so much, but there was no point in correcting her.  I continued to ask for sparkling wine throughout the flight, and she’d subtly correct me by saying “champagne” when she refilled my glass.  As long as the booze keeps flowing, she can call it whatever she wants.

"Champagne" in a plastic cup en route to Hong Kong.

“Champagne” in a plastic cup en route to Hong Kong.

Our friendly stew begins to pass out the BusinessFirst amenity kits.  I was surprised when I found out they were still using the commemorative tins featuring several United destinations.  I received NRT and EAD picked up DXB.  The amenity kit itself featured the standard components – eye mask, lip balm, hand lotions, socks – all mid-level quality, but a hell of a lot better than you get in coach (which is nothing).

United BusinessFirst Amenity Kit

United BusinessFirst Amenity Kit

We pulled back from the gate and I finished my second class of sparkling wine and our friendly stew picked up our (plastic) glassware.  After a quick taxi to the runway and no queuing, we were airborne. As we pass 10,000 feet, our stew brings us hot nuts and another glass of sparkling wine — this time, in an actual glass.

For lunch, I opted to have the Kung Pao Chicken, which was surprisingly bland and flavorless.  I don’t have high expectations for United food, but this was very disappointing.  EAD had the pork chop. When he asked the stew for guidance on the meal, she was extremely enthusiastic about how “fine” the pork chop was.  She wholeheartedly called it “fine”.  He should have known better, but he ordered it. It looked pretty good, but he needed a power saw to cut the meat.  Eating this pork chop is like eating celery – you burn more calories by eating it (sawing through it) than you gain by consuming it.

Bland Kung Pao Chicken

Bland Kung Pao Chicken

Leathery Pork Chop

Leathery Pork Chop

I decided to continue to gorge myself on mediocre food by having a cheese plate and an ice cream sundae.  I paired these desserts with a couple glasses of port.  There is only one port option on the flight and it is a syrupy sweet port that reminds me a lot of NyQuil — which isn’t all that bad if you have another 13 hours onboard to kill.

Cheese Course and Port

Cheese Course and Port

Lunch was finished by around 15h30 – two hours into the flight.  I then settled in to explore the IFE (In-Flight Entertainment) – which had a decent selection of films and TV shows.  My biggest pet peeve with the TV shows was that they mostly had just a single episode of some shows – I’d a few episodes to keep me entertained before moving off to another program.

I (over) loaded my tablets with TV shows for the flight too — I watched just a few hours of what I brought, then put on my eye mask and turned my seat into a bed.  The seat and bed are pretty comfortable (better than the angled flat seat on Lufthansa, but not as good as First in Thai or Business on Asiana).  My one major complaint about the bed is that it is so narrow. I’m not a big guy (width), but I felt a bit claustrophobic while trying to sleep – it was pretty tough to turn over too.

I slept off and on for a few hours of the flight. About half way through the flight, I was awake and was served a mid-flight snack of Chinese Noodle Soup…which was fantastic.  It looked like (and I called it) Dirty Dishwater Soup – but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I spent another few hours of off and on sleep and TV.  We watched the sunset twice on the flight too.  About 90 minutes from Hong Kong we were served breakfast — which I had a croissant and some cereal with milk.

We landed in Hong Kong about 20 minutes early.  The airport was quite deserted compared to what I was expecting, but that meant we made it through customs and immigration without a single moment delayed by standing in line.  We stopped off in the Arrivals hall to get some cash then hopped in an old red taxi and headed straight into Kowloon to visit our tailor.

It always surprises me how time passes on these super long haul flights.  Granted, being in BusinessFirst is a nice bonus, but I’ve done this same trip to Shanghai in EconomyPlus and it wasn’t all that torturous either.  Sometimes I feel the flight to LA from Chicago is more arduous than a flight to Europe or Asia.  Maybe because the destination excites me more than a domestic trip.  Do you have the same feelings as I do, or are you utterly miserable being on a plane for 16 hours?

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